DUMBLEDORE DIES
SIRIUS DIES
SNAPE DIES
HARRY DIES, THEN COMES BACK TO LIFE
VOLDEMORT DIES
L DIES
AERIS DIES
SPIKE DIES
NEO DIES
TRINITY DIES
JACK SPARROW DIES
OBI-WAN DIES
QUI-GON DIES
YODA DIES
PADME DIES
BOROMIR DIES
GANDALF DIES
EVERYONE IN EVANGELION TURNS INTO ORANGE JUICE
BAMBI'S MOM DIES
EVERY MAJOR CHARACTER IN FFT DIES
KRILLIN DIES
CHAOZU DIES
YAMCHA DIES
VEGETA DIES
PICCOLO DIES
GOKU DIES
GOKU DIES AGAIN
GOKU FUCKING DIES AGAIN
GOKU DIES, THIS TIME FOR REAL, AND THEN DIES AGAIN
TELLAH DIES
GALUF DIES
MARIKO DIES
DARTH VADER IS LUKE SKYWALKER'S FATHER
SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE
PRINCESS LEIA IS LUKE'S SISTER
WINSTON GETS REPROGRAMMED
TETSUO VANISHES
AKIRA IS DEAD
LINK SAVES ZELDA
THEY FIND NEMO
THEY ALL WENT TO THE SAME DAYCARE
SIN IS HIS FATHER; HE WAS A DREAM
ROSEBUD IS HIS SLED
WANDER DIES AND IS REBORN FUSED WITH THE DORMIN
GRETCHEN DIES
DONNIE GOES BACK IN TIME SO HE CAN BE KILLED BY THE FALLING PLANE ENGINE
MACMURPHY GETS LOBOTOMIZED AND IS KILLED BY CHIEF
ALEX IS "CURED"
YOU JUST LOST THE GAME
THE PLANET OF THE APES IS EARTH IN THE FUTURE
TYLER DURDEN AND EDWARD NORTON'S CHARACER ARE THE SAME PERSON
BRUCE WILLIS' CHARACTER IS A GHOST
MERCUTIO DIES
ROMEO DIES
JULIET DIES
CAESAR DIES
HAMLET DIES
DECKARD IS A REPLICANT
THE BOY SHOOTS OL' YELLER
ONE OF THE QUEER COWBOYS DIES
THE BLACK GUY DIES FIRST
ROCKY LOSES
ROCKY WINS
ROCKY LOSES, AND THEN WINS
ROCKY WINS
ROCKY WINS
REDRUM IS MURDER SPELLED BACKWARDS
ROCK LOSES, THEN WINS AGAIN
SCARFACE DIES
JESUS DIES
CRONO DIES
SPOCK DIES
W.O.P.R. WAS JUST PLAYING A GAME
THE WIZARD IS THE GATEKEEPER
THEY NEVER FIND THE GRAIL
SIMON AND PIGGY DIE
JAY GATSBY DIES
MAGGIE SHOT MR. BURNS
THE ANSWER IS 42
300 OF THE 301 SPARTANS DIE
28 WEEKS LATER EVERYONE'S STILL FUCKED
JASON LIVES
THE CAKE IS A LIE
THE OLD MAN AT THE END OF TIME IS ACTUALLY THE GURU OF TIME
ASH NEVER ACTUALLY CATCHES THEM ALL