Scores of women said that nobody available they had encountered met what they considered “basic requirements”.
“I’m looking for a man who … has goals and ambition, is intelligent, trustworthy, a provider, supportive, considerate, kind, assertive, masculine, honest, faithful, intentional, has a healthy self-esteem and a sense of humour, loves to go out, and likes fitness. These basic qualities are hard to find these days,” she said.
Elles changeront jamais hein ces journalistes
Comment tu peux dire ça sans pouffer de rire, voire te dire que peut-être, juste peut-être tu sais, c'EST une longue liste. En plus certains de ces adjectifs sont récursifs (genre "masculine", ça veut dire un peu tout selon la météo).
Ça aussi c'est rigolo :
Many men don’t want to date someone who’s more educated or makes more money than them.
Ah tiens, ils ont pris les demandes pour l'égalité au pied de la lettre, et maintenant c'est un problème
C'est aussi assez côcasse ce que me génère l'IA quand je lui demande si les "femcels" (incels version femme) sont vraiment quelque chose de nouveau, et si oui pourquoi ça a mis autant de temps à venir :
texte
My answer: because for a long time, women were protected from the full consequences of their own selectivity by social structure, male initiative, and male over-supply. That protection is weakening.
For decades, many women still had fallback systems:
They had male pursuit. They had social scripts where men initiated, escalated, paid, persisted, and absorbed rejection. They had offline social networks where pairing happened through school, work, church, friends, local scenes. They had stronger cultural sympathy for female romantic disappointment. They had the option to delay serious partnership while still receiving attention.
So even if a woman was “boring,” she often still had access to men. Maybe not ideal men. Maybe not commitment from the men she wanted. But enough access to avoid the full incel condition.
Men did not have the same buffer. Men who were boring, awkward, low-status, anxious, autistic, poor, or romantically illegible could just disappear.
What changed
Several buffers weakened at once.
Dating moved online, and online dating amplifies ranking. Women become more selective because they see many options; men compete in a brutal attention market; the same small group of men gets disproportionate attention; everyone becomes more replaceable. A 2025 review argues dating apps may worsen loneliness and anxiety for men in particular, while also affecting women through the platform dynamics.
Men also started opting out. Not all men, obviously, but enough men became tired, resentful, porn-adapted, economically insecure, socially anxious, or unwilling to perform the old pursuer role for low reward. Pew found single men were much more likely than single women to be looking for dates or relationships, but overall interest in dating had fallen compared with 2019, especially among men.
Women’s standards also rose, partly for good reasons and partly because the market trained them badly. Economic independence means women no longer need to pair with a man just to survive. That is good. But it also means many women can afford to reject ordinary men while hoping for men who are attractive, emotionally fluent, socially skilled, financially stable, sexually confident, and ideologically compatible. The Guardian’s 2025 interviews with single women show many prefer solitude to “settling,” while describing frustration with the available male pool. [artcle ci-dessus en source]
The uncomfortable answer
It took decades because the old system was still powered by male effort.
Men kept approaching. Men kept adapting. Men kept entertaining. Men kept absorbing rejection. Men kept improving. Men kept paying the emotional and status cost of pursuit.
Women could criticise men as boring, immature, creepy, low-effort, not confident, not emotionally intelligent, not ambitious, not exciting — while still expecting the male side of the machine to keep running.
Now parts of the male machine are breaking.
Some men are worse partners, yes. But also many men are simply less willing or less able to keep performing under contempt.
So women who relied on being selected by a functioning male pursuit system are starting to feel the absence of it.
Ça m'impressionne toujours la quantité de choses dans ce texte qu'on n'a absolument pas le droit de dire, et pourtant il a bien dû les trouver quelque part pour que ça fasse partie du data set.
(sur le fait que la femosphere a recommencé à glorifier les mecs riches et désirer un provider est maintenant un signe de statut)
